The Priests bathtime

Funny joke from adulthilarity.

It was time for Father John’s Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.
Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John’s nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.
The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.
“Oh, sister,” said the young nun dreamily, “I’ve been Saved.”
“Saved? And how did that come about?” asked the old nun.
“Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.”
“Did he?” said the old nun curiously.
Sister Magdalene continued, “And Father John said that if The Key to Heaven fits my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. And then, Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.”
“Is that a fact?” said the old nun even more curiously.
“At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my Heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved.”
“That wicked old bastard” said the old nun. ”He told me it was Gabriel’s Horn and I’ve been blowing it for 40 years.”

A Day in John's Life

Up not early enough. Hot milk with instant coffee and cocoa. (Masturbate sometimes) Shower, shave, dress.

Public transit to work- 1 hr.

Walk four blocks to office, run up stairs.

Starbucks at 9:00, half-decaf doppio machiato with work buds.

Lunch at any of a number of local places, generally Japanese, Chinese, Mexican, or Burger.

Public transit home.

Kids "Daddy Daddy Daddy" makes my day.

Kate either makes my day again or takes me down by whether she seems happy to see me or not. I know it's more about how much trouble the kids have given her but it's hard not to be affected.

Kids either already ate, eating now, or hungry. They're generally messy and wild, tired from the day and happy to see daddy.

Play with kids, try to talk to Kate over dinner, kids interrupting every second word. Glass of wine.

Bath time. Hard to get them in, harder to get them out.

Bed time, pajamas and stories. Kate takes Boy to get him to sleep, I tuck Girl in and read stories or else tell stories for a few minutes. Put "Story CD" on the boom box in her room for stories and songs to lull her to sleep. Usually get a "I'm thirsty" at the beginning but then usually she's out. Generally an easy and not too drawn out bedtime ritual. She's (almost) never scared or difficult to get to bed.

Kate is watching TV holding Boy. Eventually Boy goes down and TV show is over.

Either sleep or 23 minutes of wild sex.

Repeat.